The Diamanté Top

Design Diary

May 4

Everything that you are is enough.

In light of mental health awareness month, I want to share the unique journey I have been on with my mental health and self-care. Even though sharing this part of my experience feels very vulnerable, I hope that I can help change the stigma attached to mental illness and help others who are struggling to feel less alone.

Dominique Calvillo wearing the Diamante crochet top from namaste and crochet

I have struggled my entire adult life with being a work-a-holic.

Somewhere along the line, I bought into the idea that my worth is defined by my productivity and it has been a part of my personality that I have had to monitor. Being addicted to productivity has affected my life in a number of ways; some positive and many negative. Sometimes it seems impossible for me to have an idle moment or to feel like I have permission to just rest without feeling guilty or anxious.

Dominique Calvillo and Kiki wearing the Diamante crochet top from Namaste and Crochet

In 2017, I had a psychotic breakdown and had to be hospitalized. At the time, I was not aware of my tendencies to become creatively manic and ignore my need to nourish and rest my body in the name of productivity. The pressure I was putting on myself to be a high achiever in multiple areas in life ended up crashing down on me. The experience was scary, spiritual, awe-inspiring, and is a mystery to me to this day. Above all, I learned that my self-worth does not come from what I can achieve and that I am enough just the way I am.

The day I designed Diamanté, I had a to-do list a mile long and felt so stressed about getting all my work done but also felt like I was on the brink of serious mental fatigue. Because of my past experiences, I knew it was important for me to put down my to-do list and gave myself a day to sit, watch TV, and crochet with no expectations.

I’m so thankful that crochet has been art therapy for me in the face of anxiety. It helps me calm my mind and puts me into a meditative space. It has helped me so much in different phases of my journey with mental health and I’m a huge advocate for using art as a form of therapy.

Dominique Calvillo measuring neck for the Diamante crochet top from Namaste and Crochet

Diamante crochet top flat lay from Namaste and Crochet

The thing about design and creativity is that it needs room and space to happen.

Inspiration doesn’t come when I’m worn down. It comes when I have a quiet moment in my head to let ideas flow. The moment I gave myself a minute to relax, I got a very clear idea for a halter top design.

I had never designed a halter top before and felt a little outside of my comfort zone, but was delighted that the shape came together very easily. I wanted a statement collar to match a lace at the bottom and was inspired by a diamond motif I had previously used for a sweater.

I designed and made Diamante in one sitting and was so happy that I had given myself a day to rest. In turn, I ended up being very productive in a way that gave me life.

I was given the idea of naming the top “Diamanté” by a very sweet soul on Instagram. Diamanté means “diamond” in Spanish and Italian which represents both sides of my family. It seemed like the perfect fit!

Dominique Calvillo showing off her diamond crochet design from Namaste and Crochet

This design will always represent the goodness that can come from putting my mental health first. I hope that we can all be brave about owning our mental health journeys and know that we are not alone in the face of our struggles with it. I pray our “breakdowns” can become breakthroughs. I pray we can be more compassionate to each other and to ourselves as we explore what it means to be mentally well and that we can create safe, healing spaces for those who need support on their journeys to wellness.